


Wild Soul

by RensSaxophone



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26442187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RensSaxophone/pseuds/RensSaxophone
Summary: It's a known rumor that most people that enter the forest don't tend to return- but in the same way that some stumble in and get lost, others can stumble out to the same fate. After years of living with a small group in the forest, Ranmaru and Tokiya manage to find their way out.
Relationships: Hijirikawa Masato/Jinguuji Ren (minor), Ichinose Tokiya/Kurosaki Ranmaru
Kudos: 3





	Wild Soul

Tokiya and Ranmaru hadn’t been a part of a normal community for a very long time. 

Ranmaru had gotten lost at the age of five, and he had found himself lost deep in the forest. Starved, dehydrated, and barely able to move, he had been found by a woman who had brought him in and cared for him. It was the equivalent of being raised by a pack of wolves- they had been separated for so long that the only language they spoke was non-verbal. And that’s how Ranmaru grew up. He had learned to hunt, and build, and to survive in the forest. The woman that had taken him had merely taken him in- he was raised by everyone in the small group, as were the other small children, only a few of them actually conceived by those in the group. 

Tokiya hadn’t joined until he was eight- a runaway. He had been terrified when he had gotten himself too deep in the woods, huddled against a rock wall as a large, intimidating animal had cornered him. He hadn’t even thought it possible when a boy, no more than ten, had managed to scare the animal off. Ranmaru had brought Tokiya back to the group, and they had accepted him in. Tokiya was one of the smaller men, so he was trained more in foraging and some aspects of building- though was also trained in things like clothes making and cooking. Ranmaru hadn’t necessarily found anyone in the group before that he had taken to, but when Tokiya had started sticking around him, Ranmaru had let him, at first, and later had begun to even encourage it. 

Ranmaru had lost his speech less than two years in, and Tokiya had only taken a few years himself. 

It was in their late teens that they both had started paying more attention to how some members of the group treat others. There were groups of two, mostly, but they ranged up to four- and while sometimes it certainly was sexual, there were other things, too. They’d lay close to each other while they slept (and sometimes while awake, too), even when it was warm out. They’d press their lips to cheeks, and temples, noses and lips- usually longest on the lips. They’d embrace each other, protect each other. 

Tokiya and Ranmaru had started out unsure. Slow. Ranmaru had been the first to initiate it- carefully settling his hands on Tokiya’s waist on a day it had been just them. Tokiya’s hands settle on Ranmaru’s arms, and for a long moment, they just look at each other- Ranmaru’s expression focused and Tokiya’s doe-eyed. And then, finally, Ranmaru leans in to press his lips to Tokiya’s forehead. Tokiya smiles brightly when Ranmaru pulls away, and it gets a smile out of Ranmaru too. 

Tokiya’s hands move, up Ranmaru’s arms, not stopping until he’s run them over Ranmaru’s shoulders and up the side of his neck, settling on cupping Ranmaru’s face in his hands. There aren’t quite _nerves_ , because while this is experimentation, neither man plans to reject the other’s advances, and they’re both well aware of that. It’s Tokiya that finally leans in, to press his lips to Ranmaru’s. At first, his pressure is too soft and Ranmaru’s is too hard- and it starts fairly awkward. Neither man closes their eyes, and it does make them pull back quickly, and Tokiya can’t help his own laugh. Ranmaru gives a good natured click of his tongue, but when Tokiya’s laughs subside, they try it again. This time, they close their eyes, and it gives them a chance to figure out a consistency, neither man going too soft or too hard. It frustrates them both, when they run out of breath, but as soon as they’ve caught it they’ve returned into another kiss. Ranmaru uses his hands to pull Tokiya closer by the waist, and Tokiya moves his hands from Ranmaru’s face to his hair, gently lacing his fingers through the rough strands. 

That night, when they settle into sleep, they sleep in a position mimicking some of the others. Tokiya’s leg wraps around one of Ranmaru’s, his head resting on Ranmaru’s chest, and Ranmaru holds Tokiya closely to his side. It’s a colder night, but Tokiya feels warm. He feels safe, too.

It wasn’t that Tokiya didn’t trust the group that they were with- but when it came down to it, he had always been closest to Ranmaru. And to find a way to be closer to him made Tokiya happy. He certainly didn’t feel like this with anyone else in their group. 

Tokiya still had vague memories of when he was a child, though he had no concrete memories. He couldn’t remember his mother’s name, or even the exact age when he had run away. He has no idea how old he is now, only that he certainly has grown, from glances in the river. He uses Ranmaru as a more concrete identifier- Ranmaru looked almost like a man, and because he wasn’t much older than Tokiya, Tokiya must look the same. Not quite an adult yet, but very close. He hardly remembers why he left, and he still has conflicting feelings about it. Because sometimes he wishes he hadn’t. He wishes that he had met Ranmaru back when he was still living in… well, a community. He wishes he hadn’t gone into the forest. It wasn’t that he was miserable, but even he knew in a large part of his mind that this wasn’t right. He’s… uncivilized. He remembers that this isn’t how humans should act. That most of them didn’t. 

Even with his memories stopping so young, he still remembered easily accessible food, and water, and clothes. Technology- entertainment. _Books_. Those were what he missed most. He wondered what Ranmaru would sound like, _talking_ to him. He wanted to talk to Ranmaru, but he was just as helpless as Ranmaru was there. 

He couldn’t even express that. As time continued, he knew that Ranmaru could tell that his mind was drifting- that he was upset. Because sometimes Ranmaru would pull Tokiya to the side and wrap him in a very tight, grounding hug, and he wouldn’t let him go for a very long few minutes. Comfort was harder, being unable to fully communicate, but even without words, Ranmaru and Tokiya had both grown very attune to each other- to emotions and feelings. Tokiya often calmed Ranmaru down, and Ranmaru often made Tokiya feel better. 

They were like fire and ice- but in the best kind of way. 

Tokiya sometimes wonders if this is how they had to meet. Now, they were inseparable. Tokiya couldn’t imagine anything that could just… cancel out their feelings. But perhaps if they had met someplace else, it wouldn’t have happened like this. But these types of thoughts always get a shadowy look over Tokiya’s face, and those expression never escape Ranmaru. He’ll often get a soft nudge to his side, or a face right in front of his own, snapping him out of the often overwhelming thoughts. 

They’re certainly one of the more affectionate couples- but not in the way the others are. Because Tokiya and Ranmaru have found a spot in the trees to sleep, still in earshot of the group, but out of sight, and that’s how they sleep, wrapped around each other. Ranmaru often goes on hunts that are a bit out of the way so that he and Tokiya can have some time to themselves- they certainly aren’t shy to get their hands on each other, when they get the chance. Which tends to be often. 

Ranmaru isn’t overbearing- and while Tokiya normally stays very close to him, attached at the hip, almost, he doesn’t ever really react if Tokiya interacts with others- with _some_ exceptions. 

It wasn’t very rare for the relationships to have more than two people in them- many had at least three. Often times, as well, they’d have a temporary person- interchangeable, though that was weird to Tokiya. But Ranmaru and Tokiya had no interest in any of the others, though one boy in particular had always seemed to have his eye on Tokiya. 

When he had tried to make a move, on Tokiya alone, a look of clear discomfort had crossed Tokiya’s face- but the boy had persisted and ignored the look. 

Ranmaru, of course, hadn’t. Ranmaru could look scary, when he tried- and this was certainly one of those times. He hadn’t been _fond_ of the boy trying to get with Tokiya, particularly without Ranmaru’s involvement, but Tokiya’s unease and the boy’s ignorance of it was the nail in the coffin. Ranmaru hadn’t hurt the boy, because he fled when threatened, but Ranmaru had gotten a bit hovering the rest of the night, and it wasn’t helped by Tokiya who hadn’t moved more than a few feet from him anyways. 

It isn’t until some time after that incident that Tokiya is woken up by noises, not far from where he and Ranmaru are sleeping. At first, Tokiya is confused- it’s talking. No, yelling. But he can’t quite make out what it is, until he hears the first _scream._

Tokiya is on his feet fast enough to accidentally send an elbow into Ranmaru’s gut- but Ranmaru had already been waking up from the scream, and he reacts quickly enough to snatch Tokiya’s elbow, pulling him back down and covering his mouth with his hand. 

Ranmaru makes a noise next to Tokiya’s ear. It’s a soft, hushing sound. Tokiya can’t imagine that Ranmaru is actually calm about any of this, especially as the screaming continues. The fighting. The noises. But Tokiya and Ranmaru are out of sight- and as much as Tokiya hates it… he understands what Ranmaru is doing. 

No one knows that they’re there- and while Tokiya isn’t weak, and Ranmaru is one of their strongest, if the screams are coming from their own, two more added to their numbers won’t help. Especially because Tokiya and Ranmaru are only armed with knives. It’s a death sentence, to try to go help if their side is losing, and it’s an unnecessary threat if their side is winning. 

Ranmaru is trying to protect Tokiya. 

Tokiya can feel his breathing come unsteady, and he can feel Ranmaru tense up. Tokiya has had a panic attack before, not that he knew that’s what it was, of course- but they scared Ranmaru every time. And right now would be a terrible time to have one. Ranmaru can’t uncover Tokiya’s mouth, but his hand begins to run over Tokiya’s stomach. He manages to sit them up, pulling Tokiya into his chest, the comforting movement of his hand not stopping until the noises finally do. 

At this point, Tokiya is crying, and shaking, and it’s all he can do to keep quiet. If their group lost, it was already too late, and it was pointless to make Ranmaru’s attempt at keeping them safe for nothing. Because no one comes for them. No one knows that they’re there. But when Ranmaru’s hand leaves Tokiya’s mouth, his silent sobbing becomes harsher, shaking his whole body. His trembling becomes worse, and it’s all he can do to keep quieter- but he’s definitely not silent anymore. Ranmaru pulls Tokiya closer, rubbing Tokiya’s back, pressing a long kiss to his temple until Tokiya’s cries turn to sniffles. When Tokiya is fully calm, Ranmaru helps him up. When they walk close enough to the treeline to see into their camp, he hesitates, and then finally stops Tokiya. Tokiya frowns, but he stays when Ranmaru walks further into the camp. 

If Tokiya were anyone else, he wouldn’t know what Ranmaru found. Ranmaru’s face is carefully expressionless- closed off. But Tokiya can see the dark, swirling emotions in his eyes and a fear grows in Tokiya’s own. Ranmaru shakes his head, but he pulls Tokiya closer, rubbing his shoulder. He had grabbed a weapon- a spear, and a bag that Tokiya can only imagine carries some of the water they had gathered in a makeshift container, and some of the food they had kept at base. 

They walk for a very long time, stopping only twice- once to eat, and once because Tokiya was exhausted, and upset, and he was stumbling over his own feet and Ranmaru stopped them so that they could rest. 

Eventually, however, they find themselves somewhere strange. They break the treeline- but it’s like night and day, and Tokiya thinks that very literally. It hurts, like a blinding pain, when they leave the edge- because the trees were always so thick that midday looked like evening and night was pitch-black. He hears Ranmaru’s grunt of pain as he tries to cover his own eyes, his head ducking into Ranmaru’s arm. Ranmaru manages to wrap his arm around Tokiya’s shoulders, fumbling just a bit, but he pulls Tokiya better into his side. 

There’s a deep voice from in front of them.

Ranmaru jumps, now using his leverage on Tokiya to pull him back, his other hand reaching for his weapon. When Tokiya finally squints through the bright light, he sees two men. A tall, tanned one with orange hair, next to a slender, pale, blue haired man. They were clean, and dressed in clothes that Tokiya doesn’t think he’s ever seen. At one point in his life, he’ll learn that they’re work-out clothes, but for now, they’re only foreign. 

The orange haired man seems to be the one that had spoken, but the words mean nothing to Ranmaru or Tokiya. 

The blue haired man takes a step back, his hand on the other man’s arm, his face cautious. The orange-haired man, however, only seems concerned- and it’s because he can see the fear on Tokiya’s face, and even some on Ranmaru’s. The man lifts his hands, showing his palms to Ranmaru and Tokiya. 

After a second of Tokiya and Ranmaru staying perfectly still, the man turns to the pale one and he takes a bottle from his waist- a full, unopened bottle of water. The man slowly steps forward and sets the bottle in front of Tokiya and Ranmaru, a few feet away, and then he backs up, towards the blue-haired man again. 

The hand-made bags were very small, and the containers smaller. They were out of water and nearly out of food- and that’s likely what makes Ranmaru cautiously move close enough to take the water. He fumbles with the cap for a few seconds, his eyebrows furrowed, but before either of the men can offer help, he gets it open. Ranmaru takes a small sip from the bottle, almost nothing, but he pauses, and then he passes the almost completely full bottle to Tokiya. 

Tokiya is used to Ranmaru making sure that Tokiya is cared for first. Ranmaru had a much larger appetite than Tokiya will ever have, but Ranmaru still makes sure that Tokiya has his food first- he doesn’t eat until Tokiya does. So Tokiya doesn’t fight him when Ranmaru hands him the water first. He drinks about a fourth of the bottle. When he hands it back, Ranmaru drinks about the same amount. Neither man is entirely sated, but they knew the importance of keeping some- and now they had half of a bottle. 

Ranmaru’s attention had never left the people in front of them. His weapon is lowered but still safely in his hand. The orange-haired man speaks. 

“...Ren.” Tokiya wasn’t sure what the first part of his phrase was, but he recognized what was meant to be the man’s name. Ren gestures to the other man. “...Masato.” There’s more after it, but when Ranmaru and Tokiya just stare, Ren seems to understand that _they_ can’t understand _him_. 

It’s Tokiya that tries to communicate back. “To...ki?” It comes out hoarse, and barely comprehensible, but he still points to his chest. Ranmaru doesn’t bother to try, so Tokiya tries for him. “Ra...n.”

“Toki... Ran.” Ren nods, and he gives a soft smile. One that you’d give a wounded animal. Ranmaru still has a hand on Tokiya behind him. 

If they fought- Tokiya would fight with Ranmaru. But Ranmaru isn’t going to make a non-hostile situation right now, and they were to attack first, he didn’t want Tokiya to take it. 

Ren seems to hesitate, and then he turns his head, to mumble something to Masato. Tokiya is reminded, just a bit, of his own position when looking at the two. Masato is holding onto Ren’s arm, almost hidden behind him, his posture tense- and while it almost seems like Masato is holding Ren back, it’s very clear that Ren wouldn’t let Masato any closer, either. 

But after a bit of conversing with Masato, Ren pulls a bottle of his own, of water, and then he gestures, a “come here” motion, and he points towards a building, further away. 

They were in a type of open field with not much around them- at the moment they were close to a path, leading just around the edge of the forest. Far enough to be safe. 

Ranmaru’s and Tokiya’s eyes meet at the same time, having a silent conversation in their head. When Tokiya glances down to the bottle, and then back to Ranmaru’s face, Ranmaru gives a hesitant nod. 

If Ranmaru were alone, Tokiya doesn’t think that he’d be going. 

If Ranmaru were alone, Tokiya doesn’t think he would have even left the forest. Truthfully, Tokiya thinks he would have fought, back in the camp. 

Tokiya can only hope, as Ranmaru turns his head to nod, that they’re safe. That this won’t backfire on them. But it would be difficult, to survive alone in the forest. Because while Ranmaru could hunt and build, and Tokiya could cook and work on crafting- but any number of enemies could take them down, and the mere thought of Ranmaru going out to hunt and not coming back terrified Tokiya. 

Not that this plan didn’t scare him, too. But it was better than being raided, by those that took out his camp or an animal they couldn’t fight alone. 

Ren gives them a gentle, careful smile- and while he does lead, it’s not quite right. Masato’s eyes stick on them often, turned just a bit to the side, but Ranmaru’s eyes don’t leave them, either. Not even when they’re finally being led inside of the home. The size means nothing to Tokiya, but it is quite large- a three bedroom, two bathroom, two rooms connected to a jack ‘n jill bathroom. 

Ranmaru’s eyes sweep around the living room area of the house with narrowed eyes- and Tokiya notices Ren’s eyebrows furrow, watching them. And then, Ranmaru’s eyes find Ren’s- expectant. 

Ren gives a smile, but this one seems more strained. When he heads further into the house, he brings Masato with him, still linked to his arm. He does come back holding two bottles. This time- Ren gets closer. Ranmaru passes the half empty bottle to Tokiya, for him to hold, and takes the two new ones in one hand. Ren seems to pause once more, and then he holds both of his hands together and places them under his tilted head- and while that gesture does escape them, when his eyes close, they understand that he’s referencing sleeping. Ranmaru’s eyes narrow. Ren, noticing it, gestures further into the house. It’s slow, but when he heads in, Tokiya and Ranmaru do follow. 

They’re led into a bedroom- something Tokiya does immediately understand. It had been… too many years for him to count, since he had slept in a bed, but he still knew what _that_ was. 

And then they’re led through another door, into a bathroom. There are two sinks, two showers (separated by a wall), and a smaller room, clearly for the toilet. The last room they’re led into is a room almost identical to the first bedroom. 

Masato had, very hesitantly, left them- but only for a moment. Ranmaru eyes him as he comes back, carrying two piles of clothes. He lies one on the bed in the third, final room that they’re shown. Ren glances at them, and speaks to Masato- and then he glances at Tokiya, gesturing to the clothes. 

“Toki.”

“Ran.” For the first time, Masato speaks up. His voice is quiet, as he holds up the second pile of clothes. He slips past everyone, to lay them in the first room. 

Ren gestures to the bathroom, and Masato bows his head- and they both exit. Ren out of the third room, and Masato out of the first, closing the doors behind them. Ranmaru stills for a long moment, and then he finally sheathes his spear, shifting it so that it doesn’t bump into Tokiya, and then he finally uncaps one of the water bottles, nudging Tokiya’s hand with the back of his own. He doesn’t actually start drinking until he sees Tokiya raise his bottle to his lips. 

Ranmaru does the same thing he had done at first- tasting no more than a sip of the water, to make sure it’s safe. He ends up drinking half of the bottle, and Tokiya ends up finishing the second. Tokiya does, however, shake his head when Ranmaru tries to offer him the rest of his bottle, but Tokiya also manages a flickering smile. Ranmaru sighs, pulling Tokiya closer and kissing his forehead. When Ranmaru pulls back- Tokiya does the same to Ranmaru. 

They’re slow when they finally make their way to the bathroom, and Ranmaru brings in the bag and the water, closing both doors. After examining the doorhandles for a long second, he locks them, too. When he tests them, and they don’t open, he seems satisfied. 

Tokiya has taken to investigating the showers. Another thing that he _did_ still remember- though he couldn’t remember just how to work them. He was more familiar with the shower’s purpose than he was on how to work them. Tokiya jumps when he gets it started, dousing himself in cold water- he had been too focused on getting the handles to work that he had forgotten to step away from the spray. 

Ranmaru had no memories of anything regarding this life- too young to even have anything vague. So when the shower had started, it had _really_ startled Ranmaru, and when Ranmaru reacts on impulse, pulling Tokiya back and into his chest, he soaks himself, too. 

Tokiya, now recovered from his shock, turns his head into Ranmaru’s shoulder, to try to reassure him. It takes a long moment for Ranmaru to let Tokiya go. 

Tokiya nods towards the stream and makes a half-hearted bathing gesture, the kind they usually used when announcing that it was time to go bathe. They had found two rivers that were separate, and one was primarily used to wash themselves off. Ranmaru narrows his eyes, watching the stream. Tokiya steps forward again, though Ranmaru follows- and Tokiya plays with the handles. He winces when he turns it too hot, and barely manages to cool it back down before Ranmaru forces him away from the spray again. When he realizes what Tokiya’s doing, Tokiya gets nudged out of the way so that Ranmaru can take over the controls, subtly nudging Tokiya out of the way of the spray when Tokiya tries to get closer. Finally, Ranmaru finds a temperature he’s content with- it’s warm but not scalding, though it’s still pleasantly warmer than the river. 

There are two shower stalls, but when they finally strip, they stand in one stall together. It would have been fine for one person, though it was far smaller for two- not that Ranmaru or Tokiya minded being pressed against each other. Or helping each other clean- which was usual for them in the river and required here, with their space requirements. 

Ranmaru finally shuts off the water, managing it quickly enough to not be startling, and then he mouths kisses against Tokiya’s shoulder. Tokiya sighs, letting his forehead rest against the shower divider. 

Ranmaru makes a soft noise- almost a frustrated grunt, and then he curls forward, to better hold Tokiya. 

“To...ki.”

Ranmaru’s voice was just as rough as Tokiya’s had been earlier- but Tokiya smiles- a small, real, smile at hearing Ranmaru say his name. 

“Ran.” Tokiya manages it just a bit more confidently- nearly a hum. 

It takes a very long moment for Ranmaru to pull away from Tokiya with one last kiss to the back of his neck.

They’re both hesitant to split up into the separate rooms, but they eventually do- though Tokiya is sent with the water, and Ranmaru watches him- mimicking the motion to lock the door and he stands in the doorway between Tokiya’s temporary room and the bathroom until Tokiya’s door is locked. He leaves both bathroom doors open as he locks his own temporary door and they get changed. 

Tokiya feels anxious. 

When he’s done dressing, he sits down by one side of the open bedroom door. Ranmaru watches him, but copies his movements. 

Both of their clothing were strange. Tokiya was in soft, long pants and a large, long-sleeved, loose black shirt. Yoga pants and a sweatshirt. The words weren’t his.

Ranmaru was in a short sleeved shirt, loose on him, and pants that were almost like Tokiya’s only they were baggier, too. Sweatpants. They had both been given socks. 

It lasts no more than ten minutes before Ranmaru decides that he’s not going to stay in the other room. 

The only reason Tokiya had was a sense of obligation- the way their clothing had been set in separate rooms, the separated showers, it felt as if they were supposed to stay in their own room, but Tokiya’s anxiety was getting to Ranmaru. Ranmaru makes his way into Tokiya’s room just in time for a knock on the door. Ranmaru narrows his eyes, but he’s the one to approach the door. 

It’s Ren- holding a plate of food. There had been a knock on Ranmaru’s room’s door, too, though Ren’s eyes flicker behind Ranmaru, to Tokiya. He says something, and only a few seconds later, Masato has moved doors. 

Ranmaru takes both plates, when he’s offered. Tokiya hasn’t moved from his spot on the floor. 

There’s another smile from Ren- another one that just isn’t quite right, and that’s coming from the opinion of Tokiya who has never met Ren before. 

Ren gestures between himself and Masato and then towards the living room, before both men step back- seemingly hoping that Ranmaru had gotten the point. Tokiya finally stands up, to close the door behind Ranmaru, though Ranmaru watches him until Tokiya flips the lock. 

They settle on the floor to eat- though Ranmaru does exactly what he had done with the water, starting on Tokiya’s plate. He takes a very small piece from Tokiya’s plate, his expression very concentrated. It’s a few seconds after he’s done chewing that he nods, pushing the plate just a bit closer to Tokiya. He doesn’t even test his own plate until he sees Tokiya start eating. 

Their cooking was simple- it certainly wasn’t flavorless, because cooking meat fresh made it very flavorful, but it still wasn’t like… this. There were different components on this plate- pasta, and meat, and vegetables. 

Tokiya often tried to get to the berries- the fruits, the nuts, anything that _wasn’t_ meat. Tokiya never did have a fondness for it. 

Ranmaru, however, never seemed to get sick of it. The meat on his dish was the first thing gone. Tokiya moves his own meat to Ranmaru’s plate, and he gets a glare in return- until Tokiya takes one of the vegetables off of Ranmaru’s plate and eats it. 

Ranmaru makes an amused noise, but he puts the rest of his veggies onto Tokiya’s plate, in the empty spot the meat had been in. 

Their plates are clear when they’re done, and they had shared the last half of the second bottle. 

By the time that they’re done eating, Tokiya’s eyes have started to trail towards the bed, and Ranmaru begins to notice. He finally stands, to pull Tokiya with him. Tokiya pulls back the covers, and he’s the first one to crawl into the bed. Ranmaru is fast to join him, and Tokiya pulls the covers over both of them- over his own head and just under Ranmaru’s chin. Tokiya curls into Ranmaru’s chest, and Ranmaru’s arms wrap tightly around him. 

And, for the first time since his attack yesterday- Tokiya cries. 

It’s a far calmer crying. He’s not in the middle of another panic attack, but everything is settling in at once. Ranmaru’s hand raises to pet through Tokiya’s hair. 

Tokiya wonders how difficult it is for Ranmaru- who had been there before Tokiya. They never were able to really discuss how they felt, living in the group. But right now, Ranmaru just holds Tokiya tightly until Tokiya cries himself to sleep. 

Their temporary room had ended up turning into their permanent one. 

It was hard to communicate with Ren and Masato, but with some work, Ren had at least gotten it across that they could stay in their room. 

Eventually, words started making more sense. 

_Food. Dinner. Breakfast. Good morning. Good night. Please. Thank you. No. Yes._

“Water?”

It was the first word that Tokiya had learned- though it wasn’t often needed, after Ren had showed him the fridge, and the bottles inside of it. 

For the first while, Tokiya and Ranmaru eat together on the floor of the bathroom. They still took showers together, and Ranmaru’s previous room hadn’t been disturbed enough to even need to be cleaned, and Tokiya and Ranmaru never went in there, beyond one time to unlock the door. 

Tokiya had learned, very quickly, that Ranmaru’s hair is incredibly soft, when properly washed. It had taken a few times of showering before they had actually figured out exactly what soap was used for what- but Tokiya seemed happy when they had, running his hand through Ranmaru’s now almost silky hair.

Usually, Masato and Ren stay away from their room, though Masato had entered the bathroom once to clean it, and he had noticed that they had managed to flip one of the doorknobs, so that the lock faced the inside of their room instead of the bathroom. Nothing was ever said about it- beyond a comment from Masato to Ren. Neither man really minded. 

It was very clear that Tokiya and Ranmaru had been through something. Their guesses were close, though they had no idea to just what extent and Tokiya and Ranmaru can’t tell them. 

It’s very awkward- teaching them. 

Originally, Masato plans to help teach Tokiya more Japanese, and Ren is set to teach Ranmaru. 

An hour into the lesson, Tokiya feels like he’s already making _some_ progress. It’s a bit hard, focusing when he can’t see Ranmaru- but when he actually gets into learning, it’s easier. But then, shortly after the hour passes, Ranmaru enters the room, silently sitting next to Tokiya. 

Tokiya grabs Ranmaru’s hand, but his eyes stay on Masato’s face, and Masato hesitantly continues the lesson. Ren comes in, towards the end of the lesson. 

Tokiya can understand some of their conversation. 

“Why… Ran…?”

A sheepish grin from Ren. “...dumb jokes… him mad?”

Masato’s eyes roll, and he sighs, shaking his head. “Of course. ...time… you and Toki?”

Ren nods. “We…”

Tokiya frowns, particularly at the last sentence. Most of what Ren had said had been lost on him there, even though it was short. But from what Tokiya can gather from their conversation and Ranmaru’s face, Ren must have annoyed Ranmaru. 

When Ranmaru and Tokiya are back, alone in their room, Tokiya presses a kiss to Ranmaru’s forehead. Ranmaru’s huff is _almost_ amused, but he just wraps his arms around Tokiya and holds him tighter. It’s barely a moment later when Ranmaru has gotten Tokiya into the bed. 

Ranmaru had really taken to napping- now that he had a comfortable place to do it. Now that they weren’t spending all of their time hunting, and building and working. 

They’d need to find something- but that wasn’t for now. Not yet. Not when they still had such issues communicating- which is why Tokiya truly was thankful to be taught a language. But with that came the internal knowledge that while they could go back to the forest- he’d never want to. Not again.

It takes more than a few lessons before Tokiya finally pulls Ranmaru into the bed, but not letting Ranmaru pull him under the covers. Ranmaru’s eyebrows furrow when Tokiya sits cross-legged on top of the covers and gently tugs on Ranmaru’s arm until he copies Tokiya. 

“Talk.”

Tokiya’s voice is almost nervous. Ranmaru’s own lessons had been going a bit better, now that it was Masato- but they both knew they were going a lot slower than Tokiya’s were. Tokiya was quicker at picking the language up again- and by Masato’s recommendation, Ren had started teaching Tokiya simpler books- teaching him to read. Tokiya hadn’t even started to work on writing- his confidence wasn’t quite that high yet, and he had no mastery of the language. Only a simple grasp. He felt he was moving too slowly, but Ren was always fast to reassure that Tokiya was doing well. 

He still couldn’t understand harder words- but he had begun to start understanding words and sentences, even if he couldn’t quite speak them back yet. 

Ranmaru’s eyebrows don’t unfurrow. His words come very slowly. Uncertain. “What?”

“You and me. Talk.” Tokiya squeezes Ranmaru’s hand. His smile flickers. “Never got to. So now.”

“Not… real good, Toki.” Ranmaru frowns. Tokiya lets go of Ranmaru’s hand so that he can cup Ranmaru’s face. 

“Doing good. Very good.” Praise came easier- because Ren praised Tokiya a lot. Tokiya leans in, and he brushes his nose against Ranmaru’s. “You are trying. That is good.” Tokiya finally pulls back,but he leaves his hands on Ranmaru’s face, and he sighs. “It is hard.” Short sentences were difficult- but Tokiya preferred them. It was a bit better than just using single words, when he could avoid it. “It… will get easy. ...But not now.” Tokiya glances away, closing his eyes as he sighs again. “...Lot to say. But I…” Tokiya’s eyebrows furrow. “Want to. Too hard.”

Ranmaru leans down, pressing his forehead to Tokiya’s. “Soon.”

“Soon.”

They can’t get much further in their communication, as much as it hurts Tokiya- but Tokiya does start becoming Ranmaru’s secondary tutor. Both Ren and Masato seem surprised when Ranmaru really does begin to understand- when he’s actually able to take things in from them, or understand what they tell him. When he even begins to communicate, though it’s fairly simple. Tokiya is pretty quiet, too, but he’s much more talkative than Ranmaru. 

“Do we tell ‘em?” Ranmaru had started shortening his words- it was harder for Tokiya to do but it seemed to come naturally to Ranmaru. Ranmaru’s entire tone was always so gruff that sometimes Ren and Masato had trouble understanding him. Ranmaru had asked this as he and Tokiya were settling in for bed. 

“About these… lessons?” Tokiya wasn’t fluent. He was nowhere near- but he was much, much better. Ren often teased him- telling him that he sounded like an elementary school kid with a high schooler’s vocabulary. Tokiya made him regret that joke because it led into Ren needing to explain all levels of school, what you did in school, and then led into Tokiya drilling him about more ‘ _vocabulary_ ’ words. Their lesson that day had gone almost two hours over the scheduled time. Ranmaru and Masato had joined them, but Tokiya doesn’t think that Ranmaru was paying much attention. Ranmaru only really liked the lessons from Tokiya- he merely put up with the lessons from Masato. 

Ranmaru just grunts. 

“...We can let them have it.” Tokiya’s words come slowly. They sound better like that. “Pretend.” Tokiya laughs, and it gets a chuckle from Ranmaru. 

“Sure they’d like that.” Ranmaru mumbles, holding Tokiya closer. “Time ‘t sleep.”

That gets another laugh from Tokiya. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

As time continues, Tokiya and Ranmaru switch teachers again. Ren can still easily irritate Ranmaru, but now that Ranmaru has enough understanding and ability to fire back at Ren, he doesn’t leave the lessons early. Tokiya likes learning with Masato- because Masato takes the teaching far more seriously, and very shortly in, he begins to help Tokiya read more difficult books and begin to start writing. 

Ranmaru had read one book and had adamantly declared that he would not read one more story about friendship with a cartoon mouse. Tokiya had, during their lessons, taken over trying to help Ranmaru read- but it was good that he had, because Ranmaru wouldn’t read children’s books, and Tokiya had gotten all the way to young adult. It was clear how frustrated Ranmaru could get, starting at a level far too high, but Tokiya was patient and he did his best to help Ranmaru. 

It’s when Tokiya can speak more fluently- faster, with very few mistakes and very few base words escaping him, that he decides to talk to Ranmaru again. 

Ranmaru isn’t fluent, either, but he has no difficulty expressing himself. Tokiya knew that the conversation he wanted to have wasn’t going to be an easy one- and he didn’t want Ranmaru to have strong thoughts and not be able to convey them. 

Tokiya tries to not sit facing Ranmaru, but Ranmaru can tell where he’s heading, and he turns, to properly see Tokiya’s face. Tokiya sighs, but he doesn’t try to move again. 

“I want to talk.” This was already starting better than last time. “But it’s serious, Ran.”

“Thought so.” Ranmaru grunts. “I can handle it.”

Tokiya nods, quietly. “I… I’ve thought about this. For a long time. And now I can’t think straight. Talking to you is… normal. And I’m glad. But we’ve never really… talked like this. Nothing more than an… annoying day.”

Ranmaru sighs. “Yeah. …’Ve been thinkin’ ‘bout this fer a while- the people we were with in the woods.” The scavengers, Tokiya’s mind fills in. When he had been able to convey their story to Ren and Masato, they had gotten an understanding look in their eyes. Ren had been gentle, but he had admitted that their life expectancy wasn’t high- and he was glad that they found their way out. Tokiya hadn’t explained that it was because they were the last of their group. “I know it wasn’t well, but how’d you take it? How _are_ you takin’ it?”

“There’s a lot to that.” Tokiya says, but his voice breaks and he stops to clear his throat. “I worry a lot about how you took it. But I wasn’t happy there. I liked being with you. I cared for many of the scav- people, in our group.” Ranmaru never was a big fan of the word _scavengers_. “I ran away from my home, and I lost myself in the forest- when I found you. And while I don’t regret meeting you, I regret running. I was never set out for that life. It was just… what I was given. What I became forced to do. ...But those feelings… that I would leave if I could… I feel guilty now. Like somehow my thoughts are what caused it. Because I wasn’t devoted and this was my punishment, and I don’t know that I was right to get away from it.”

“It wasn’t.” Ranmaru’s voice is angry, and it gets Tokiya’s eyes centered on Ranmaru’s immediately. “Y’can’t blame yerself for that, Tokiya. You didn’t make that happen. ‘N you wantin’ ‘t leave isn’t a bad thing, either.” Tokiya’s own emotions had made his words come slower- had made it harder, but Ranmaru’s anger seems to make his words come easier, until he finally sighs, frowning, his voice calming, just a bit. “Was all I ever knew. I just… went with it. ...Dunno that I would’a, if I didn’t ‘ave you. Might’a went off by myself if I didn’t ‘ave you ‘t take care of. But ‘m glad we’re ‘ere. Don’t get me wrong. ...I’m not glad how we got ‘ere, though. It was… shit luck.” Something flickers very briefly in Tokiya’s eyes- the cursing was something Ranmaru had picked up from TV. Ren had found it hilarious when he started and Masato had just sighed and shook his head. Tokiya’s look only lasts for a second. “But when I said it wasn’t yer fault, I meant that.”

Tokiya sighs, but he reaches for Ranmaru’s hand and Ranmaru lets him take it. 

“Oh. Yeah.” Ranmaru’s eyes narrow. “I never wanna hear you _ever_ say that you should’a died then again, either. That wasn’t yer punishment. That was because our life then wasn’t… it wasn’t this tame shit it is now. This is… better. But it’s less…” The word seems to escape Ranmaru, and he huffs. “...It’s… more safe.” Ranmaru runs his free hand down his face. “You didn’t deserve ‘t die. ‘N I’ll never regret that y’didn’t.”

Tokiya gets quiet, but he shifts, to move closer to Ranmaru, and Ranmaru’s arms wrap around him. Tokiya isn’t sure if he should bring up what’s on his mind now- but he was exhausted from this conversation, and he knew that if he waited for the second, he’d be just as exhausted then. He’d rather just get this out of the way. 

Or, as the silly phrase that Ren had taught him goes, it’s better to rip the bandaid off fast. Or something like that. 

“...Do… do you still feel that connection?” Tokiya’s voice breaks, and he finds himself curling into Ranmaru’s side. “The one we had before we started talking?” It feels silly, to Tokiya, but he feels his eyes fill with tears. “...Now that we’re safe, and we can actually speak, and we’re able to… to form connections with more people… I worry that our connection may have been out of necessity.”

“‘R you breakin’ up with me, Toki?” Ranmaru’s voice is slow. Careful. He’s too still- too tense. 

Tokiya sounds almost childlike. “I’m not. I just don’t want _you_ to break up with _me_.”

Ranmaru sighs, and for just a second his body slumps, and then he’s pulling Tokiya into him with a grip that’s almost too tight but ends up being just right. “I dunno why you’d think I would. I wouldn’t put my ass on the line time ‘n time again if I weren’t serious fer you. Why do you think our… connection? Yeah. Why d’ya think it’s weaker just ‘cause we can talk?”

“I… We…” Tokiya hides his face in Ranmaru’s shoulder, curling in closer. “...We haven’t been physical lately. Not… not even like this. It’s usually only when we’re going to sleep. We were… closer. Back in the forest. And I know that we’re both busy- but I’m… I’m lonely. I miss you. And I know we’re still around each other a lot but-” Tokiya knows that he’s rambling, but he’s stopped by Ranmaru, pressing his lips to Tokiya’s, one of his hands raising to Tokiya’s face. This was certainly one of Ranmaru’s more aggressive kisses. He gets Tokiya off of his lap, to get him laying down on the bed. 

“You should’a told me, Toki. ‘M doin’ all this work fer you- if I was doin’ too much of it, ‘m not gonna complain if you just _tell_ me you want my hands on you.” Ranmaru’s free hand pulls Tokiya even closer to him with a grip on his hip, going in for another kiss. This time when he pulls away, he pulls Tokiya’s shirt off and goes for Tokiya’s neck. Tokiya’s hands find Ranmaru’s shoulder blades, leaning into Ranmaru’s affections. “I’ve gotta take care ‘a one thing real fast. I’ll be right back.”

Ranmaru gets up, opening the door to the bedroom, and at first, Tokiya is just confused.

“Oi! Both ‘a ya!” Tokiya can’t even start to stop Ranmaru before he’s outside of the room. He had shown up the first day in clothes that didn’t cover very much, but his opinion on coverage has changed- which leaves him fumbling to pull his shirt back on. Ranmaru is already in the living room when Tokiya finds his way out. “Lessons ‘r cancelled tomorrow.”

“O...kay…?” Ren glances at Masato- admittedly a bit amused. Masato is mostly just taken aback. 

Ranmaru stands there for a moment, Tokiya standing behind him with one of his hands covering his eyes, his other hand on the sleeve of Ranmaru’s shirt. Ranmaru finally grunts, and when he turns, he pulls Tokiya with him- and Tokiya can definitely hear Ren laugh behind them. Ranmaru finally ushers Tokiya back into the room, but he’s very fast to get Tokiya’s shirt back off. 

Before he joins Tokiya in the bed, however, he locks the doors- something he hadn’t done in months. Tokiya watches him curiously, but Ranmaru just gives him a wolfish grin. 

“Trust me, babe.” Ranmaru’s voice is smooth, so unlike how rough it was when they had first gotten here. “We’re gonna need more ‘n just one night.”


End file.
